Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
