i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
