Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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