If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
we're so committed to being not committed
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
