Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
