omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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