I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
