Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
