JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
