I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
