Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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