genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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