There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
