The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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