I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
