I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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