Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
