I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
