Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
cat food counts as protein by the way
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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