I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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