scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
