On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
