Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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