Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
