I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
