If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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