i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize