i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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