Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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