id be glad to
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
