she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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