these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
