I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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