You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
