i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
