I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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