grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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