I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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