we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
