I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
