i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
