She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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