I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
