he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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