clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
