I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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