i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
