My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
