lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
