Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
