just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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