Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
