so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
