I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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