honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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