I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
