I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
