he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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