She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
