What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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