had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
