if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
