Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
